Thursday, March 22, 2012 | By: Anzel

End the Final Swift.

Early ovulation is always troublesome. Makes me want every possible guy.

...though to be honest, though it's fading a TAD, I still wanna pin down the lead singer of The Rocket Summer and make love to him. God damn I am so full of want. Not as bad as before but...bah. It doesn't help that I haven't had any in a while.

Maybe if I'd never first stimulated my little femme friend, the temptation wouldn't exist. But it does now, and I've tasted the sweets of other fruits. So I am hopelessly addicted. And can't really do anything about it with my grandparents surrounding my life. Sigh. At least you listen to me, Rosebush. I suppose I don't regret not allowing anyone into my inner sanctum but for an occasional random view, and those people do not know me. And even if they did, they would only know me from ONE website...

...and they'd all be guys trying to learn more about me. I'd scare them off. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I like scaring off guys. I don't want to be with someone who can't handle the spazz-in-a-box I am.

So full of thought, mania, blah. Guess I didn't fall into depression, it was simply pms being a bitch as she ALWAYS is.

Reading The Hunger Games. Not gonna watch the movie though cuz I kinda wanna use the corer I use on tomatoes at work, on her face. Her freaking...oy vey. She pisses me off. Idk why. She just does. Stabby stabby happy happy...*snort*

I don't think about my love. I know I can trust my dad with my beauty's health. But I do miss her. And I know she misses me. She is lovely. Teared up though even typing this.

My other love can go to hell at the moment, I'm tired of it. He decided to ignore me again. I am done with being ignored. I love the man but he is...so fucking aggravating sometimes. :/

I miss companionship. At least Tom helps with that, he's such a sweetheart...at least I have someone. I don't like to be alone...
Wednesday, March 21, 2012 | By: Anzel

I Had A Dream...

I had a dream last night...well...today. It'd have been night if I were lucky and lived in Australia where my inner clock seems set to for some reason...which is making my life very difficult...but anyhow...

Mom was still alive...at least it wasn't one of my, "She didn't actually die, to be honest" dreams where I kind-of got a little confused and wondered why I called her dead when she survived...

Or one where she was a zombie or binge drinking again. No, zombie was not good. It was extremely disturbing when all it was was your mom's appearance at the end of her life, simply with a little decay. She was already skin-and-bones, yellowed and greyed...zombifying her just took torn flesh...

She was the...voice of reason. Now, I want you all to know, I DON'T believe dreams are "trying to tell us something" with "different objects meaning different things"...

Dreams are our memories and our mind sifting them, making new connections, figuring out problems as we sleep.

So she was the voice of reason. My dad was strict and upset and she warned me but I was too late. I was in major trouble.

I remember my grandparents being in it...they were...the source of stress and blgh. Yes, blgh...:/

I...vented enough about why I'm mad at my dad atm elsewhere so don't feel like blogging it...goodbye for now.
Monday, March 19, 2012 | By: Anzel

Brain Distract Toast.

Trying a new website called Jango.

Alright, was gonna go on, but gotta say, the lead singer of The Rocket Summer has a sexy voice and is pretty hot. God damn I'm ovulating early for sure.

ANYHOW. It's fairly decent. Sends me to a lyrics website that annoys me, but doesn't have limits like pandora.com does.

If there's one thing true about Andy, it's that he likes similar music to mine...mostly.

... BAH. I am horny and lusty and flirty again. I'll probably ovulate early and start early. FML.

Let's see. I'm permitted meet a boy nearby that I met online at last. It's nice, it's difficult to sway the minds of older generations...

Suddenly, bad mood. Derek can just...gfh. Figure out what that means. But I'm tired of this. I love the guy but the silent treatment is just...fucking rude. I can't forgive for the same mistake twice. I can't forgive him doing something that he knows hurts me, TWICE. I'm just...done with that bullshit already.

Mmk done brain distracted.
Saturday, March 17, 2012 | By: Anzel

Flip Pad III

"Scattering the liquid joy of life from his ambrosial tresses"
((from a very long poem on my teacher's wall; how can one avoid the gutter with this quote?))

---

In the atomic puzzle:
- not all pieces fit together
- some pieces go to many puzzles
- some pieces belong to different puzzles
- life is a jigsaw puzzle
-- we need to look at the pieces to determine how to make the big picture

---

"I can't take it anymore...I have to poop!" ~ Tiffany

---

We have a shed...a trampoline that's home to yellow jackets...we have wood...

---

Atoms of a marker?

---

Atomic/chemical reactions that make plants grow leaves, petals, or fruits? How?

---

5-12-08: Jon was pleasing a banana.

---

I have to consult with my potatoes!!!

---

"I call him Fishie because he's a fish."
"I call her Melanie because she's a melon."
~ Lil Bush quote

---

"Everyone's got my shorts on!" ~ Chris

---

Guys do nothing but whine. Whine whine whine whine whine!!!

---

My warm, newly-printed paper lost its heat too quickly on my cold desk -_-;

---

This Perfect Day
-----------------------> Falkland Islands is the link between the novels
Brave New World

TPD - islands are secret, was possible choice to go to
BNW - where misfits are sent

TPD - islands are 'prisons' for the incurables/misfits
BNW - islands quarantine the misfits

---

"Curiouser and curiouser." ~ Alice from the novel (alice in wonderland)

---

Why do certain "shells" of electrons only hold so many? Why not in between? Greater forces at work?

---

"cocodot" ~ Ariel

---

"I ate civilization." ~ Brave New World

---

Grey > gray

---

"Blind hole in the ground." ~ BNW

---

Jesus Christ = Cheese n' rice

---

"Miss Universe could love me passionately, and it wouldn't make a difference if it weren't...you..." ~ My first boyfriend

---

The Solar Atomic
((my thoughts about how an atom looks similar to a solar system, and a solar system looks similar to a galaxy))

---

When the only way you can comfort someone is with written or typed words...no hugs, kisses, pretty little things like that...you have to use all of your heart to show each other your love...

---

"And all out yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death."

"Besides, thy best of rest is sleep and that thou oft provok'st; yet grossly fear'st thy death which is no more."

"For in that sleep of death, what dreams?"

((cannot recall reference, i labeled as BNW and Gloucester))

---

Buried alive, eyes spooned out, lips sewn shut.
((an episode of SVU that actually disturbed me))

---

"Name-tags weigh a lot...on your SOUL!!!" ~ Mr. D

---

Schooliosis - curvature of the spine due to school-induced lethargy.

---

Wanna know another reason why I think (you're gay/you suck)? Because (you're gay/you suck).
((think i was just making a reversible joke, meant to be perverse, not offensive; note the "suck"))

---

In reference to "swallowing": I eat babehs!!

---

Vegetarians destroy the environment by killing things that photosynthesize our oxygen!!! CO2 overload!!!

---

I'm gonna move you down on my friends list!
or
That's it! You're not a top friend anymore!
((lame myspace anger ideas))

---

I understand The Thinker statue. He thinks his whole life, never getting anything done. (never got dressed, takes too much thought) (sits in thinking position, eternally in thought)
Irony? I'm deep in the thinker pose over The Thinker. Hmm.

---

"Probably the saddest sight you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy."

---

"Did you make out with that guy okay?" ~ Vice Principle

---

Halo is sun orbiting around earth/angel.

---

bellybeans!

---

David, "Ya wanna know what I like doing?"
Alex, "Girls?"

---

Tingly Ligaments - tongue twister

---

The Devil's Hairpin

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Can you PLEASE stop breathing?
((people breathing too loudly near me during test)))

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Human pupae wandering the halls.

---

"Periods 1 and 2 will self destruct upon contact."
((what I WISH was on the morning announcements at school))

---

"If she's a drug, she's gone."

---

Alvue!
((^ i love you))

---

What if people randomly exploded?

---

"High-school toilets are all the same; they sound like 747s taking off. I've always hated pushing that handle. It makes you sure that the sound is clearly audible in the adjacent classroom and that everyone is thinking: Well, there goes another load." ~ Charlie Decker from Rage by Richard Bachman ((a.k.a. Stephen King))

---

"They 'did' hug." ~ Molly
((the way she said it was funny, wasn't referring to past tense, was saying she did a hug))

---

You must eat enough of the atoms in order to create new DNA strands and react chemically to get and use energy from the reactions.

---

Bob. James Bob.

---

"What's his name?"
"Dick."
"Where'd you meet him?"
"In my pants."

---

"Polkaspots" ~ Ashley B

---

"What? Are you so boring that she gave you a blowjob and she fell asleep?"

---

"Want to pull my trigger?"
"Is your safety on?"

---

Evolutionary benefit of right brain controlling left side of body?

---

"I has broom!"
"I has shoe! *throws* I miss!"

---

Energy - atoms of sugar, of starches, solved

---

Breathing...O to CO2? Why does that energize?

---

I have ten drillion dollars!

---

My boob senses are tingling! There's a period afoot!

---

She's my aunt girlfriend!

---

How would you feel if the world felt you were a flea?

---

"And every sound that floats
from the rust within their throats
is a groan." ~ The Bells

tintinavulate

---

"Why are there fences around graveyards?"
"Because people are just dying to get in."

---

"Eyes of pure, deep azure..." ~ Garden of Everything

---

I'm not just a lawyer...I'm doctor lawyer!!

---

AFAP - as fast as possible

---

"Life's a beach at WHS"

---

Why DOES heat rise?
((i think i know the answer to this one now))

---

Time is a probability.

---

Making hay = sleeping?

---

"I wish I had an Oscar-Meyer Weiner..." ~ friend
"Yeah, I know a lot of guys that do." ~ Me

---

"ipple!" words

---

I study the capillaries of existence.

---

menopause = mental pause

---

"I thought you were a boy..."
"Nope, I have a womb."

---

"When Brittney Spears went around flashing people with her hooha, she didn't mean to offend anyone...
She just wanted a 'womb' with a view!" ~ my dad

---

Immortality - atomic replacement?

---

Dandle

---

Kids are mature as teens, they want to leave their parents because it's NATURAL.

---

Technerio

---

Hir

---

Oie

---

Projectile shitting.

---

"Count sheep or your rolls of fat or something..." ~ Shin Chan

---

"Time" travel is not possible.

---

In a "flacker" of wings.

---

How do bats have sex?

---

"This is war," claims Ruby, "and it's the only weapon we've got." ~ Peeling the Onion
((lazy nurses not bringing bed pans when called...face consequences))

---

"Swallow, wait, and anticipate." - PtO

---

"Woolly blackness" ~ PtO

---

"Ruby's decided that I'm stranded and has sent her to collect me." ~ PtO

---

"On a clear night, you can hear them ((donkeys))" ~ my dad

---

AND THAT IS THE END of that flip pad. Just emptied out a lil pocket in it, let's see...

February 22nd is National Porn n' Cupcake Day.

And wow...it seems...one thing escaped me. A letter from my first beloved, sent with 20 irises, the lyrics to the song Iris, and an "I love you" message. I'm...glad it's finally stopped hurting me. He will always have a little piece of me, but at least I no longer feel so hurt that I have to destroy everything that reminds me of him. I kind-of wish I still had that photograph. But c'est la vie...
Thursday, March 15, 2012 | By: Anzel

Subway FTW.

So yesterday I was handing in job applications and Subway hired me. (like a boss)

Today was my first day, only 2 hours. Let me tell you the differences between KFC and Subway:

KFC
--- Free things-we-can't-serve-customers (things that expire or fall, but only a few things, most are off-limits and must be tossed)
--- Free water
--- Half off of your meal on your break, only useable one time that day, order must be worth less than 8 dollars (before discount), desserts cannot be given a discount
--- Free small employee drink during break and ONLY during break (employee small = 2/3rds KFC small)
--- 25-45% of people work together and communicate

Subway
--- Free Cookies
--- Free Soda
--- Free 6" (less than 4 hour shift) or Foot-long (>4 hour shift) every workday
--- Everyone works together

So...you now see.

Both have a "Guy". The guy who owns Subway isn't actually NAMED Guy though, unlike at KFC. But he sounds more harmless than Guy ever was.

And if there are cute boys I always get a chance to talk to them. Might only be discussing lettuce and banana peppers BUT IT'S TALK.

I was ordered to make a 6" sub because I felt so...out-of-place xD Like I shouldn't be allowed. But she ordered me to make one for myself because I didn't feel right doing it xD Ham/cheese/pepperoni/mustard ftw. I also had a chocolate cookie and Barq's Root Beer. Ftw.

FTW.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012 | By: Anzel

No, I do not Scoff at your Religion.

Just because I am agnostic does not mean I secretly laugh at everyone who has religion.

Mostly I just roll my eyes when I, personally, am forced to do a prayer or say grace, or to personally do something related to religion.

You're allowed your religion. I am allowed not to have one. I am not vocally aethiest, I do not bash your religion. Call me on-the-fence if you want, it's better than being on one side or the other throwing sticks at the other side, or at one another.

You can meander around wordings as much as you want, but I heard those comments.
--- That you wouldn't probably have me here if you'd known I don't believe in a deity.
--- That you believe I laugh at everyone else with religion.
--- That you don't like me being around you because you're constantly in prayer and I don't believe in it.

Religious people are intolerant even if they say they aren't. I feel offended and rather pissed off. The only thing I've done thusfar? Mentioned (after being told this 10 times over) that I didn't particularly need to hear that 4 people were praying for me every night and that might part be a reason I got a job.

That crossed the line to her. Ugh.

-.-

Religion can go diaf. Just like I obviously will when I die because according to her, if I don't believe in a God I won't go to heaven, and this upsets her.

BAH.

Lipsum

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Anzel
If you can't handle cold truths and blunt facts, step away. I use this blog to speak my mind, and will put down every gruesome detail in order to do it. You've been warned.

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