Ow, finger.

Hurt my...ulnar nerve at work yesterday. Four 38 lb bins of cat litter = oops. My pinky is in pain and is not fond of typing despite my not using it much, maybe it just moves my hand back and forth for this.

So, Derek's back again. He actually just...let me know, he believes he's bipolar. I kinda figured it, but compared to how shut off about himself he had been in the past, it's a major step forward. If I really go to the University of Buffalo this fall...sigh, it'll have been too long. I want to meet him...

Spoke to the dumbass on the phone last night. He would randomly yell profane amusements at bad drivers and I apparently got chucked more than once due to cops being near. Hey, I didn't know he was driving until he told me! Oh well. I wasn't about to give up a chance to hear his voice. I missed him so much...

Yeah, my nerve is pinching as I type. I should stop. OW.

Age.

Older. Younger.

Age only matters in relationships, but should not interfere with natural feelings after puberty. Puberty signifies a step into an area where your body is literally ready. For a life-long mate, not likely, but not everyone even gains that ability.

*sighs* So basically. I know I would never get in a relationship with this kid at his age. But he's past puberty. And bodies and minds react due to the fact that we're all ANIMALS. Why can't it be easier.

Also, internet celebrities can be depressing, I hate getting crushes on them. I am...extremely easily influenced by voice. It, hair, and body type are some major influences on my attraction towards a person.

Besides. Finding out a cute guy was actually getting off to you and you had no idea while you were ON THE CAM with them...pretty damn amusing and funny xD And a compliment.

I dun care. I think it was my seductive voice. I rarely ever use it. I can only ever force myself to when reading something pre-written.

Eh. I just need to get laid again I guess. I have plenty of crushes, and plenty of likes, and plenty of guys I wouldn't mind having a play-date with just for the sake.

Anyone's a victim right now...kinda. I still have my pickiness and standards. But it's easy to get into my sights. Yes folks, this is Hard Harry comin' to you live...

I have this feeling if I ever cammed Con I'd bore the crap out of him due to generational differences. Or weird him because I am weird. I dunno, I don't have many people to talk to.

I have Tom from Britain...cute, nice body, not bad...;) A brilliant wordsmith with a dashing accent. Always enjoyable to converse with.

Dean's kinda my Ducky from the Netherlands.

Now that I'm on that subject...who else do I have as friends.

Manuel from Austria
Marcy from Brasil (and Shanna, and my first ex João)

Sigh. I think my relations have dwindled, I need to spread my knowledge of the world. But honestly, the friends I talk to most are my foreign friends. It's strange.

Now.

I hate Christmas. Why? Because of the expectations. In this damn society it's not fucking optional.

Well. SOME of us don't GIVE a SHIT anymore. I don't want gifts and don't want to give when I feel this horrible.

My art is MINE. I draw it for people who deserve it and people who I respect ONLY. Why are you fucking forcing me to do this. It is my own graphite blood.

I don't have a car anymore btw. Lost control. Everyone blames me. I just didn't realize that a huge fucking tank SUV will lose traction or hydroplane on a night with minor mist.

My chest burns. I feel horrible. Make it stop. Make it go away.