A Shimmer in the Storm

I suppose I did need a little spark, something that could try and lift me from my depression. I hope this actually works, however.

I am all a-twitter and blushing, likely due to ovulation. I finally am feeling sleepy at night, but still not capable of falling asleep. God, I miss my meds. I was able to sleep at least a bit better when I was on them, now I just feel wired. Or, wired around my ability to sleep.

I don't know what to do with Yours and Mine, or Drip Drop. I just can't seem to write beyond a point; I get stuck. I imagine a writing class could help with that, but I don't know. I still am not sure what I want to do.

I like helping people. It is amazing when I can really help someone with something, for instance, with betta fish. To know I told them everything they need to know, that they'll go home with something that will make them happy, and will be happy with them.

But I don't like other things...idk.

The spark has gone for the moment, but oh well. I knew it'd never last, as it never does. The fact remains that I have him and I truly am not looking for anyone else. Yes, my eyes wander, my thoughts stray, and I do want to appeal to others, flirt, and be wanted. But I always want those things. ESPECIALLY when I'm in heat.

It's hard to maintain desire towards a dense guy who doesn't understand he needs to do sweet, random things, on his own. I have no connections to him outside of the internet, and it's very, very hard to deal with sometimes. It's easier to let my frustration with this out than to hold it in and fake being blindly happy.