Chances Too Thin

Derek is a part of my life again....why? Sometimes I wonder. I vividly recall loathing him in former blog entries for what he did to me, twice now. But...

But there's a lot of reason why I didn't let him go...

My mom approved of him...he was like her Tim, like my Ducky...the dorky friend. Tim, the guy my mom should have married, but didn't...

She can NEVER approve of anyone else...she...can't...

He saved my life, so much...he's aggravated me before, hurt me before, but never, ever, with bad intentions...

He likes feeling wanted...I want him, and so he wants to meet me...Please...PLEASE...Karma, entropy, listen to me.

Entropy, listen, please. My only god in this world, you randomosity of this world...let he and I meet on June 25th. Let it work. Let it be as I've wanted for...so long.

I adore him and have been stalking him, lol. Creeping all over his fb and his bro's and his OkC. Not to be a creeper, but because I've been...SO bored recently. It's been absolutely boring as of late, he's been busy, and...I may be manic.

I've been waking up. AND STAYING. UP.

Must have been triggered by Derek coming back into my life, my entire world shifted, I feel...better. I'd say it's because of him, but he just triggered my body. I feel a physical difference. I dunno, chemistry is weird.

I am...likely gonna kill all of my phone minutes thanks to the goof though. Maybe it'll motivate me to buy a better phone, who knows.

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Slept on it. Derek IM'd me and I stopped writing this. xD Never gonna finish this, posting.