As the soft sweet cries.

I am...hmm. Not sure anymore what to do.

I got lucky for once with someone I was physically attracted to. Fuck yes. So hot. Loved it.

*shrugs* BUCKET LIST IS ALL HAPPY NOW.

Now I feel like, for once...I can just find someone to date. I don't have any unfulfilled desires that can't be filled now relating to looks.

Now I think maybe I'll spend time crushing on unattainables. Let's see.

So one is just enjoyable to talk to. Problem is more-so looks if only because I know most guys don't feel like losing weight and THOUGH I CAN GET USED TO THINGS EASILY, I know I get turned off by said things and it would bug me occasionally.

The other is just really great as a person. I feel unjudged and understood. And I do find him attractive. But there's the age difference, not that I care but most people care about said things.

*shrugs* And there's distance.

I dunno. Should I work on anything? Should I give up? Should I let myself flirt and be hopeless because it's how I am?

I'm honestly not sure. But at least now I feel like I could be 100% faithful to someone in all aspects. I just wish there was any hope at all. Is there?...

I guess the only reason I think there may be, is because of the multiple people I've ended up with in online relationships. Because I WOULD be willing to move someday. Problem is the other people's tolerance of distance...sigh.

Idk right now. I wish I did.