Sweet Things

Sweet things exist everywhere, I suppose. A thought, a smell, maybe just a random kindness. At this point in my life, I need a Sweet Thing...not a stupid little nothing, I need someone to always be mine. But I'm trapped in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of clueless, hopeless guys...and I'm just a hopeless girl.

It's sad meeting one of the rare treasures and finding them to be owned by another. It's sadder falling for a guy who falls for your friend. I made a promise forever ago that I would never be Cinna. And that is a promise I'll keep --- because Cinna is heartless and cruel.

I'm not sure who I am anymore. I've developed beyond Anzel, and I am definately far past Sheya. Utau is just a figment and Nakyr is...too free to be captured by my mind for too long. Am I Nadie, Natalie, Melanie...

At times in my nighttime dreamdays I am either Anzel or I am Nadie. Nadie is fading and Anzel is growing. Who am I, really? I wish I knew. I really do. And I wish I had someone.

I'm missing the seam that holds me together. I am codependent forever, and ever...

It seems I have to choice in the matter. I need someone else...

I need help.