I would much enjoy if Blogger would kindly employ reCaptcha for their Captcha method; the one they have right now is simple, but it's not helping digitize novels.
It appears my heart chose David; the nearby boy. I am surprised, he was surprised, his friend was surprised, my friends were surprised. My heart is a surprise.
Enjoying watching Portal 2 videos, and got to play L4D2 TODAY!!!!!
Needless to say, I was HORRIBLE. My first go at the...umm.......the...controller of whatever L4D2 is played on. Seriously, no clue, too many systems out there and I own none, I just know I was new to it and had like...no control. I shot Coach square in the chest. He just glared at me, gave me the stink eye. Fortunately my bf had my back and it was on easy-peasy.
Rochelle is the most...slutty-sounding healer. Kind-of bothersome.
Maybe I will eventually get the controls down...maybe. It'd take a few tries.
Oh yes, and the lucky Zelical has been blessed with a keepsake upon her neck she desires as much as a life-loving slug craves a salt bath. Needless to say, it was an accident and...now that I recall, I need to try a trick a friend told me about freezing a spoon. Not looking forward to this.
My boyfriend has the bluest eyes and sharp canines. And he LISTENS. And he takes my advice without being hurt by bluntness...which is good.
My dad accused me of lying to him about the towels. I did...but he told me I gave them away. No. Yes, I did lie, I didn't burn the ones that were worn out that I removed YET because I am a lazy bum. But NO, I am not the cause of the missing 1/3rd of our towels. The worn towels I removed were thin and not even close to the width of a single towel even when together.
I don't care for being told I'm a liar. I rarely lie; if I do, it's probably for good reason. Such as avoiding huge, pointless arguments about taking an extra bath or two every week cuz it was FREEZING this winter.
...Dexter in Dodge commercials, awesome voice is awesome.
...the frozen spoon didn't feel too bad, though now it hurts like a motherfucker.
How is it that my dad's -made- poems get in books but my most brilliant poem will never be seen beyond a couple pairs of eyes? Sigh...
Drawing a heart on my wrist, for David as well as the event. I love him.
Love comes in many stages, and he still loves her. As I still love he, my first love, but far faded is it now. His is fresh. But love is love, though young, it's still love. A caterpillar, just yet.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
|
By:
Anzel
Monday, April 11, 2011
|
By:
Anzel
I'm kind-of only human.
I'm sorry for hurting you; it wasn't planned, but I did have every right to do what I did. It was definitely fairly spontaneous, though I did have quite a battle in my head because I knew I might hurt you.
I could easily just get with this guy and be semi-happy for some period of time. But honestly? I'm not going to date someone just because he lives near me. You're a catch, and he isn't my type.
My self esteem wavers a lot. It didn't do me good for all of the guys I ever...did things with, to be fairly unattractive. Well. In that they turned me off rather than on when I looked at them or felt them.
I always wanted to do something with someone who I found, well...hot. So this did wonders for my self esteem.
...random now:
I kind-of wish I had the parts for some of these a capella groups in Family Guy, like for the Vasectomy song.
Anyhow...I'm hoping he forgives me. The nearby guy knows I'm not gonna date him, but we're still gonna hang out cuz he's a good listener and I liked hanging out with him.
Next time I see him, I might trade him my Pokemon Black for his Pokemon White :P He showed me it last night and I was like...WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, I'D HAVE BROUGHT MY DS.
My mind is fairly eclectic. I start work tomorro--today. KFC. I hope I do well. The manager and I hit it off at my interview, so hopefully I'm all good.
Oh, I performed ...wait. I got distracted. What did I perform? <<; OH YEAH.
Buffy suddenly hock, hock, hocked...I grabbed a tissue by two corners and ran to her...CAUGHT it mid-air. I am so awesome, legends will speak of my awesomeness for years to come.
That is all. Good night-morning.
I could easily just get with this guy and be semi-happy for some period of time. But honestly? I'm not going to date someone just because he lives near me. You're a catch, and he isn't my type.
My self esteem wavers a lot. It didn't do me good for all of the guys I ever...did things with, to be fairly unattractive. Well. In that they turned me off rather than on when I looked at them or felt them.
I always wanted to do something with someone who I found, well...hot. So this did wonders for my self esteem.
...random now:
I kind-of wish I had the parts for some of these a capella groups in Family Guy, like for the Vasectomy song.
Anyhow...I'm hoping he forgives me. The nearby guy knows I'm not gonna date him, but we're still gonna hang out cuz he's a good listener and I liked hanging out with him.
Next time I see him, I might trade him my Pokemon Black for his Pokemon White :P He showed me it last night and I was like...WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, I'D HAVE BROUGHT MY DS.
My mind is fairly eclectic. I start work tomorro--today. KFC. I hope I do well. The manager and I hit it off at my interview, so hopefully I'm all good.
Oh, I performed ...wait. I got distracted. What did I perform? <<; OH YEAH.
Buffy suddenly hock, hock, hocked...I grabbed a tissue by two corners and ran to her...CAUGHT it mid-air. I am so awesome, legends will speak of my awesomeness for years to come.
That is all. Good night-morning.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
|
By:
Anzel
Flip pad II
---
- The hustlers, wise fox-like men, strong, will rule over the wise.
- Smart women taken out silently.
- Unfortunate hustlers will take care of babies.
((some story idea I had before bed and wrote down. no clue what I meant, any ideas?))
---
"My mom was mopping, and this old man came up and said, 'You'll be really good at that by the time you're married.'" ~ Beatrice
---
Big buildings with giant "t"s on them!!!
((when one zones out, you see crosses as they truly are, GIANT t'S!!))
---
Do you lose 'yourself' as you are smelled?
---
Try again? Phailure!
((again, forgot why this was funny))
---
Human societies like physical states of matter?
---
spork rinds
---
Keep your CRACK in your PANTS
and get RID of your STACHE
---
"It's the magical month!" ~ Billie
And the magical week~
---
Oh. My. Dog.
---
Don't, like, judge. I'm not, like, a prep, or anything.
---
Oh my gawd, I'm not emo, hypocrit, gawd!
---
nary un poco
---
You and your disappearing holes!
---
"Stop ripping my hole!" ~ Chavva
---
The dandelion bush
((saw a large yellow-flowered bush surrounded by dandelions that dithered as they were farther from the bush))
---
It is about time for me to escape from reality...
---
"Do you know the difference between a chihuahua and a pomeranian? It's like, 10 pounds of fur." ~ Mrs. Horton
---
Hand-tree
((idea of possible painting - hand with fingers in a fractalline pattern off of other fingers))
---
Note to self: don't read old books, they tear without provocation.
---
I am me!
---
People see people as reflections on window glass.
---
Baby munchkin = scrunchkin
---
With some girls, it's hard to tell if they're peppy, preppy, bi, or gay.
---
Humans are shit.
---
Does potential energy increase as the flame works its way down the flame?
---
Fog mountains are stunning
---
I felt myself move, my heartbeat shaking my whole being.
I wanted to kill her.
I wanted to rip that strand of pure ignorance choking her brain out of her head and strangle her with it, by wrapping it around her eyes.
Her delicate. Little. Eyes.
Rage.
I understand that word well.
((before I was put on Prozac for my anxiety, probably when pmsing))
---
Victnam
---
"Oh my god, Christina, put that thing away!"
~ Ariel commenting on the way I can bend my legs
---
"in the sun the willows give you shade. how they hand like a guillotine blade. in the sun. like a blade."
~ Anonymous
((written in the margins of a school textbook))
---
"I've got a boner!!! ...And you wanna touch it!" ~ Jessie
((friend being weird))
---
"And soon shall the sun be flinging his splendours both far and near."
---
China made the world. World made in China.
---
Nights and days on a world like a cut sphere?
---
- The hustlers, wise fox-like men, strong, will rule over the wise.
- Smart women taken out silently.
- Unfortunate hustlers will take care of babies.
((some story idea I had before bed and wrote down. no clue what I meant, any ideas?))
---
"My mom was mopping, and this old man came up and said, 'You'll be really good at that by the time you're married.'" ~ Beatrice
---
Big buildings with giant "t"s on them!!!
((when one zones out, you see crosses as they truly are, GIANT t'S!!))
---
Do you lose 'yourself' as you are smelled?
---
Try again? Phailure!
((again, forgot why this was funny))
---
Human societies like physical states of matter?
---
spork rinds
---
Keep your CRACK in your PANTS
and get RID of your STACHE
---
"It's the magical month!" ~ Billie
And the magical week~
---
Oh. My. Dog.
---
Don't, like, judge. I'm not, like, a prep, or anything.
---
Oh my gawd, I'm not emo, hypocrit, gawd!
---
nary un poco
---
You and your disappearing holes!
---
"Stop ripping my hole!" ~ Chavva
---
The dandelion bush
((saw a large yellow-flowered bush surrounded by dandelions that dithered as they were farther from the bush))
---
It is about time for me to escape from reality...
---
"Do you know the difference between a chihuahua and a pomeranian? It's like, 10 pounds of fur." ~ Mrs. Horton
---
Hand-tree
((idea of possible painting - hand with fingers in a fractalline pattern off of other fingers))
---
Note to self: don't read old books, they tear without provocation.
---
I am me!
---
People see people as reflections on window glass.
---
Baby munchkin = scrunchkin
---
With some girls, it's hard to tell if they're peppy, preppy, bi, or gay.
---
Humans are shit.
---
Does potential energy increase as the flame works its way down the flame?
---
Fog mountains are stunning
---
I felt myself move, my heartbeat shaking my whole being.
I wanted to kill her.
I wanted to rip that strand of pure ignorance choking her brain out of her head and strangle her with it, by wrapping it around her eyes.
Her delicate. Little. Eyes.
Rage.
I understand that word well.
((before I was put on Prozac for my anxiety, probably when pmsing))
---
Victnam
---
"Oh my god, Christina, put that thing away!"
~ Ariel commenting on the way I can bend my legs
---
"in the sun the willows give you shade. how they hand like a guillotine blade. in the sun. like a blade."
~ Anonymous
((written in the margins of a school textbook))
---
"I've got a boner!!! ...And you wanna touch it!" ~ Jessie
((friend being weird))
---
"And soon shall the sun be flinging his splendours both far and near."
---
China made the world. World made in China.
---
Nights and days on a world like a cut sphere?
---
Saturday, April 9, 2011
|
By:
Anzel
Flip pad I
In English class, our teacher made us keep little notepads. I call mine a flip pad. I ended up getting really into mine and kept writing. Below are excerpts from my first flip pad. They vary from interesting quotes, to poetry, to thoughts and other things. I left out things I could not source or had no relevance now.
" marks normally mean someone else said it.
Italics are comments I just wrote in to give a little depth as to the back-story of something.
Not much is properly cited as I'm not planning on publishing this or anything.
---
A silvern fae is born of steel and bread
With buzzing things a-ringing in her mind
Her wisdom is of tyranny and war
Her hands are swords of iron, rich and strong
A gleam is cast from her metallic eye
Upon a lone child stranded in the fray
A snip, a tear, a stitch, he is complete
Because the massacre's not second-best
The blood upon her scythe shall melt away
Upon a floor of sentimental years
The wisdom and the wise are hiding deep
The papers will not turn against the pen
"Creation is a deathly, vile thing,"
So spoke a scientist with graying hair,
"For no machine can love or reason well,
And they all lack a common sense to think
That what they do is wrong, and silly, too!"
He thought to himself deep within his heart
And lifted up a frail, breaking limb,
"We wanted to make something just like us,
And we succeeded; we created them."
---
A child among the dandelions slept
Whilst blossoms tilted in the summer breeze
He slept with bones a-quivering at night
And many mornings later in the leaves
His bones shone shiver-less under the sun
---
I hate humans. Yes, me included.
---
The sky blushed, then cylinder-eyed.
((description of sun through clouds at dawn, then a strange illusion of a cylinder upwards as bright as the sun, about twice the regular height))
---
Life without him is meaningless.
((how one feels in true love))
---
Glimmering, glittery trees at negative seven degrees
---
Diamond Doves
---
"Don't you dare close your eyes;
hold your breath, it gets better"
---
Reason why I don't do my homework: When I finally do, she doesn't collect it!!! AHHHH!!!!!!
---
Hi forgotten space!
---
Snow types; ((unfinished))
Clingy - sticks to your shoes
---
The sky looks especially spidery today.
---
Romeo
Lady, by yonder blessed moon I vow
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops-
Juliet
O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
---
"Approved by the Postmaster General"
---
What is we should be look up at the ground, but consciousness desires the upsky, not the down.
---
Lust =/= love, you fool, you obviously know not of true love...
---
Over-watered children sprouting up
Will wither in the sunlight raining down
And little petals tarnish glowing soil
With fortunes of their ignorance alight
They'll candle in their tombs, and brown, and stay
---
How?
Hello, all of you, my name's Anzel
I am a child just like all of you
With eyes to see and ears to hear the lies
We're spoon-fed in the evening and the night
Soon after a full day has cried to you
The wildness and the intellect hide deep
Within the boundaries of wounded hearts
I'm not sure that they still can hear my song
Of delicate and wise, and hidden lies
That you are blind to if behind the pane
Friends, you are not friends.
Lies, you are not lies to them
I wish, though
You could see
My world
Beyond that stubborn pane
How I wish to break it
Smash it with an iron fist
Not these frail human hands
Made of bone
But how?
For we are all atomic
In a simple way
Of lead grey pencil
And
Why do I bother here
You little deaflings
When you don't freaking get it.
---
"I may act like a dork in class, but really I'm a space pirate hero!"
((my teacher said this in my dream))
---
An angel and her prince...<3
---
Creature made of one bone...break bones when young to walk?
((idea of an alien life-form possibility))
---
Locker bites, needs a muzzle.
---
Moodiness returning, grab for reality!!!
---
roll roll roll roll PLOP roll roll PLOP!!!
((person rolling off top of bed onto bedside area then onto floor))
---
"People misunderstand me."
---
Glitter. Is. Permanent.
---
"Agnostic: A person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience."
---
"He" agrees with old manly ways. Get it?
((referring to God being referred to as He))
---
There was no 'first day', no day!!!
---
foofles
---
WTF bus? Take THAT!! Why won't you take ME??
((me captioning strange little girl waving her arms like a maniac at the bus))
---
My connection to my boyfriend is being lost.
((online relationship))
---
What's worse: hollas or gossips?
---
"...visible and crimson, like the darkness of closed eyes on a summer's afternoon."
~ Brave New World
---
Sleepy-sleep night-night time.
---
Curiosity is a blessing and a curse.
---
"Only when the doors of perception have been cleansed will man see things as they really are --- infinite."
~ William Blake
---
Guilt is like a splinter in your chest.
---
LUM-ber-FRE!!!
---
spork chops
---
Dithered fellows may be fixed.
---
atoms and DNA...
---
Answer or question. Or and. Not nor.
---
If a single link in the thread-thin chain is found non-existent, then yes. God does exist.
---
My sole purpose is to disprove logic.
I query.
And if my queries cannot be answered by anyone...
I'll query to the greater
Where 'it' is
And if 'it' be within that broken link.
---
"What's forgetting syndrome?"
"Umm...umm...umm..."
---
Some days are just full of song...
or maybe spring is doing me some good.
---
Colorless quarks?
---
Too small to even see property, for you can never see sight.
---
green pen of IGNORANCE!!!
((swiped an ignorant friend's pen and wrote this then returned before she noticed))
---
Insta-dust!
Dust
Anywhere. Anytime.
YAY
((sprayable dust in an aerosol can))
---
Fuck your mulch.
---
I just ate, like, 50 lbs of supercorn!
---
Suckerfish kid clinging to chemistry door...
((got bored, imagined this and lol'd, referring to a window on a door))
---
There are BOOGERS on my SEAT!!! EWW!!!
---
You never SAID, "Take home books," so I took my NOTES!!! -_-
---
"But I have to go to the bathroom!!!"
"FOREIGNER!"
((somehow got this caption idea from a WWII nazi video))
---
I hate coloring.
---
Ignorance is blissful torture.
---
"I don't go outside without my t-shirt, socks, and a belt."
~ Teacher's slip-up
---
"Mr. D. secretly wears a leopard print man-thong."
" marks normally mean someone else said it.
Italics are comments I just wrote in to give a little depth as to the back-story of something.
Not much is properly cited as I'm not planning on publishing this or anything.
---
A silvern fae is born of steel and bread
With buzzing things a-ringing in her mind
Her wisdom is of tyranny and war
Her hands are swords of iron, rich and strong
A gleam is cast from her metallic eye
Upon a lone child stranded in the fray
A snip, a tear, a stitch, he is complete
Because the massacre's not second-best
The blood upon her scythe shall melt away
Upon a floor of sentimental years
The wisdom and the wise are hiding deep
The papers will not turn against the pen
"Creation is a deathly, vile thing,"
So spoke a scientist with graying hair,
"For no machine can love or reason well,
And they all lack a common sense to think
That what they do is wrong, and silly, too!"
He thought to himself deep within his heart
And lifted up a frail, breaking limb,
"We wanted to make something just like us,
And we succeeded; we created them."
---
A child among the dandelions slept
Whilst blossoms tilted in the summer breeze
He slept with bones a-quivering at night
And many mornings later in the leaves
His bones shone shiver-less under the sun
---
I hate humans. Yes, me included.
---
The sky blushed, then cylinder-eyed.
((description of sun through clouds at dawn, then a strange illusion of a cylinder upwards as bright as the sun, about twice the regular height))
---
Life without him is meaningless.
((how one feels in true love))
---
Glimmering, glittery trees at negative seven degrees
---
Diamond Doves
---
"Don't you dare close your eyes;
hold your breath, it gets better"
---
Reason why I don't do my homework: When I finally do, she doesn't collect it!!! AHHHH!!!!!!
---
Hi forgotten space!
---
Snow types; ((unfinished))
Clingy - sticks to your shoes
---
The sky looks especially spidery today.
---
Romeo
Lady, by yonder blessed moon I vow
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops-
Juliet
O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.
---
"Approved by the Postmaster General"
---
What is we should be look up at the ground, but consciousness desires the upsky, not the down.
---
Lust =/= love, you fool, you obviously know not of true love...
---
Over-watered children sprouting up
Will wither in the sunlight raining down
And little petals tarnish glowing soil
With fortunes of their ignorance alight
They'll candle in their tombs, and brown, and stay
---
How?
Hello, all of you, my name's Anzel
I am a child just like all of you
With eyes to see and ears to hear the lies
We're spoon-fed in the evening and the night
Soon after a full day has cried to you
The wildness and the intellect hide deep
Within the boundaries of wounded hearts
I'm not sure that they still can hear my song
Of delicate and wise, and hidden lies
That you are blind to if behind the pane
Friends, you are not friends.
Lies, you are not lies to them
I wish, though
You could see
My world
Beyond that stubborn pane
How I wish to break it
Smash it with an iron fist
Not these frail human hands
Made of bone
But how?
For we are all atomic
In a simple way
Of lead grey pencil
And
Why do I bother here
You little deaflings
When you don't freaking get it.
---
"I may act like a dork in class, but really I'm a space pirate hero!"
((my teacher said this in my dream))
---
An angel and her prince...<3
---
Creature made of one bone...break bones when young to walk?
((idea of an alien life-form possibility))
---
Locker bites, needs a muzzle.
---
Moodiness returning, grab for reality!!!
---
roll roll roll roll PLOP roll roll PLOP!!!
((person rolling off top of bed onto bedside area then onto floor))
---
"People misunderstand me."
---
Glitter. Is. Permanent.
---
"Agnostic: A person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience."
---
"He" agrees with old manly ways. Get it?
((referring to God being referred to as He))
---
There was no 'first day', no day!!!
---
foofles
---
WTF bus? Take THAT!! Why won't you take ME??
((me captioning strange little girl waving her arms like a maniac at the bus))
---
My connection to my boyfriend is being lost.
((online relationship))
---
What's worse: hollas or gossips?
---
"...visible and crimson, like the darkness of closed eyes on a summer's afternoon."
~ Brave New World
---
Sleepy-sleep night-night time.
---
Curiosity is a blessing and a curse.
---
"Only when the doors of perception have been cleansed will man see things as they really are --- infinite."
~ William Blake
---
Guilt is like a splinter in your chest.
---
LUM-ber-FRE!!!
---
spork chops
---
Dithered fellows may be fixed.
---
atoms and DNA...
---
Answer or question. Or and. Not nor.
---
If a single link in the thread-thin chain is found non-existent, then yes. God does exist.
---
My sole purpose is to disprove logic.
I query.
And if my queries cannot be answered by anyone...
I'll query to the greater
Where 'it' is
And if 'it' be within that broken link.
---
"What's forgetting syndrome?"
"Umm...umm...umm..."
---
Some days are just full of song...
or maybe spring is doing me some good.
---
Colorless quarks?
---
Too small to even see property, for you can never see sight.
---
green pen of IGNORANCE!!!
((swiped an ignorant friend's pen and wrote this then returned before she noticed))
---
Insta-dust!
Dust
Anywhere. Anytime.
YAY
((sprayable dust in an aerosol can))
---
Fuck your mulch.
---
I just ate, like, 50 lbs of supercorn!
---
Suckerfish kid clinging to chemistry door...
((got bored, imagined this and lol'd, referring to a window on a door))
---
There are BOOGERS on my SEAT!!! EWW!!!
---
You never SAID, "Take home books," so I took my NOTES!!! -_-
---
"But I have to go to the bathroom!!!"
"FOREIGNER!"
((somehow got this caption idea from a WWII nazi video))
---
I hate coloring.
---
Ignorance is blissful torture.
---
"I don't go outside without my t-shirt, socks, and a belt."
~ Teacher's slip-up
---
"Mr. D. secretly wears a leopard print man-thong."
Crushed by my own reflection.
The lucky female that is I cannot have a point during the month where mine fluctuations hormonal don't fuck me over.
I'm a tad hypomanic right now, but my diaphragm is tensed, as is the rest of my body. And I'm in the middle of my cycle, as I term it, a time when another part of me tries to alter my speech and therefore I can't speak as I might want to.
I have a migraine as I tend to get in my more up moods, but also want to get anything and everything finished. I need to accomplish things but also lack. Might be mixed...
Miserable, sitting here with an odd mind. I wish my sweet Tom was here...I want to hug his leg, and fall asleep there, him petting my hair maybe...
I dunno. It's odd. But that's the point...being allowed to do something odd because it's sweet, and having the other not question.
James misses me. But he never fought for me. He will regret losing me for the rest of his life, even if he refuses to admit to it to ANYONE.
Which is the case.
I'd rather be out gathering food right now or trying to keep warm for my own survival, than existing in this world where it's unnecessary, right now. Moods that make one incapable of functioning in the now...may be beneficial under other circumstances, and not grief-inducing.
I want to go outside and lie upon the frost-laden grass, kissing the moon and skies and dreaming of the man who could see it too.
I'm a tad hypomanic right now, but my diaphragm is tensed, as is the rest of my body. And I'm in the middle of my cycle, as I term it, a time when another part of me tries to alter my speech and therefore I can't speak as I might want to.
I have a migraine as I tend to get in my more up moods, but also want to get anything and everything finished. I need to accomplish things but also lack. Might be mixed...
Miserable, sitting here with an odd mind. I wish my sweet Tom was here...I want to hug his leg, and fall asleep there, him petting my hair maybe...
I dunno. It's odd. But that's the point...being allowed to do something odd because it's sweet, and having the other not question.
James misses me. But he never fought for me. He will regret losing me for the rest of his life, even if he refuses to admit to it to ANYONE.
Which is the case.
I'd rather be out gathering food right now or trying to keep warm for my own survival, than existing in this world where it's unnecessary, right now. Moods that make one incapable of functioning in the now...may be beneficial under other circumstances, and not grief-inducing.
I want to go outside and lie upon the frost-laden grass, kissing the moon and skies and dreaming of the man who could see it too.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
|
By:
Anzel
Life is as we expected
To go with a less fawning post, and because I will otherwise talk the ear off those who do not care to listen...
I finally stopped being a lazy-ass and uploaded videos of my kitties to Youtube. Then I started being a lazy-ass again. I appreciate that spell check agrees lazy-ass is a word. Let's see how long until it says I'm a liar.
I'm still worried about my sweetheart. I mean, she doesn't act ill...but her tic is so...strange. But I'm not a vet, and I don't have money to throw around at my whimsy. I haven't even started at KFC yet. I like that I spelled whimsy right, but that it says KFC is wrong.
Harley the clever boy got himself beaten up again. Something internal and something on his paw. Probably a bite and some kicks. Foolish cat. Heh. But he's doing well. I mean, he can make a 4-foot leap onto a 4-inch wide pole, and his paw's not swollen, so it's all good. What a dumbo.
What else...
My sleep schedule needs to pick itself and stick itself. And I need to find a place to put my rock collection. And maybe remove that box because for some reason cats like to try and fit in as small a box as possible several times before they realize, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK :D
Ummmmmm...I'm hungry, gonna probably watch some tv now. I am absolutely sick of being a "woman". I would like to be HUNGRY, and be able to eat WHATEVER. Not have cravings for things that basically make everything else as unappetizing as mystery meat.
If it didn't cost anything, I honestly would probably get a hysterectomy...I just...blah. The only thing keeping me from that is one reason other than costs.
I'm uninspired for what to write. I could probably do some great poetry...
But no one's online to talk to and I don't have anywhere for my poetry really anymore.
C'est la vie.
I finally stopped being a lazy-ass and uploaded videos of my kitties to Youtube. Then I started being a lazy-ass again. I appreciate that spell check agrees lazy-ass is a word. Let's see how long until it says I'm a liar.
I'm still worried about my sweetheart. I mean, she doesn't act ill...but her tic is so...strange. But I'm not a vet, and I don't have money to throw around at my whimsy. I haven't even started at KFC yet. I like that I spelled whimsy right, but that it says KFC is wrong.
Harley the clever boy got himself beaten up again. Something internal and something on his paw. Probably a bite and some kicks. Foolish cat. Heh. But he's doing well. I mean, he can make a 4-foot leap onto a 4-inch wide pole, and his paw's not swollen, so it's all good. What a dumbo.
What else...
My sleep schedule needs to pick itself and stick itself. And I need to find a place to put my rock collection. And maybe remove that box because for some reason cats like to try and fit in as small a box as possible several times before they realize, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK :D
Ummmmmm...I'm hungry, gonna probably watch some tv now. I am absolutely sick of being a "woman". I would like to be HUNGRY, and be able to eat WHATEVER. Not have cravings for things that basically make everything else as unappetizing as mystery meat.
If it didn't cost anything, I honestly would probably get a hysterectomy...I just...blah. The only thing keeping me from that is one reason other than costs.
I'm uninspired for what to write. I could probably do some great poetry...
But no one's online to talk to and I don't have anywhere for my poetry really anymore.
C'est la vie.
Monday, April 4, 2011
|
By:
Anzel
Sweet dreams...
For some reason, some lovely and wonderful reason, the sandman defies me. I took 4 melatonin. They successfully made me unable to form sentences to write. But alas. No sleep. Just so you know, 1 melatonin alone does nothing to me, 4 seems to still not make me sleepy. It's been about an hour or less and it's almost worn off already.
It doesn't help that I am in a waking dream now.
There's this guy...I met him only a few days ago and it feels like at least a week or two.
The way he speaks is entrancing. I'll admit, at first I felt a little overwhelmed, but he seemed committed to replying, and didn't shrink what he said and didn't say anything to scare me off. And eventually I admitted defeat to his complex wordings, and he just admitted he had been trying to play off how I'd been speaking, and calmed it. I was interested. That night I began to funnel my focus away from any other possibilities on OkC.
The next time I spoke to him, I grew more interested still. And after that time, I couldn't get him off my mind. I'm quick to fall so that wasn't saying much, but I was quite caught.
After that...it was...lovely.
How else can I describe him, but entrancing, sweet...
He's from the UK. He has this look that...that, in a way, I can compare to João's. He looks nothing like João, but they both have this look that I seem to be attracted to despite any superficial issues one might have.
His mannerisms of speech are unique and charming. And his voice...that accent...do I even have to say? I don't care if he had to keep his voice down, or was recovering from a cold...it was perfect.
Everything about him just seems perfect and genuine...
...how can I ever compare? I'm afraid he'll realize I don't have much special about me, to me, within me...
And at this point, for some reason I don't fully grasp, I don't think I'd be able to recover very quickly if I lost my shot with him...if I was 'crushed' by my crush...as I often am.
He's different. But he's the same. The same in a way I'm sure of. In a way I can't tell much of anyone. But in a way I know I've been looking for for a very long time...
I think he could be another seed. I..I know. He's the second seed. I'm sure of it. I cannot explain it but for that analogy.
I say seed for a seed does not always become a flower. It must be planted, nurtured. It must be given all it needs to thrive upon and reach above the ground and deep beneath. It must grow towards the sun so it might spread its petals before me. And it must be perennial, with deep, undying roots.
I hope he can be my flower. I hope I'm his...
It doesn't help that I am in a waking dream now.
There's this guy...I met him only a few days ago and it feels like at least a week or two.
The way he speaks is entrancing. I'll admit, at first I felt a little overwhelmed, but he seemed committed to replying, and didn't shrink what he said and didn't say anything to scare me off. And eventually I admitted defeat to his complex wordings, and he just admitted he had been trying to play off how I'd been speaking, and calmed it. I was interested. That night I began to funnel my focus away from any other possibilities on OkC.
The next time I spoke to him, I grew more interested still. And after that time, I couldn't get him off my mind. I'm quick to fall so that wasn't saying much, but I was quite caught.
After that...it was...lovely.
How else can I describe him, but entrancing, sweet...
He's from the UK. He has this look that...that, in a way, I can compare to João's. He looks nothing like João, but they both have this look that I seem to be attracted to despite any superficial issues one might have.
His mannerisms of speech are unique and charming. And his voice...that accent...do I even have to say? I don't care if he had to keep his voice down, or was recovering from a cold...it was perfect.
Everything about him just seems perfect and genuine...
...how can I ever compare? I'm afraid he'll realize I don't have much special about me, to me, within me...
And at this point, for some reason I don't fully grasp, I don't think I'd be able to recover very quickly if I lost my shot with him...if I was 'crushed' by my crush...as I often am.
He's different. But he's the same. The same in a way I'm sure of. In a way I can't tell much of anyone. But in a way I know I've been looking for for a very long time...
I think he could be another seed. I..I know. He's the second seed. I'm sure of it. I cannot explain it but for that analogy.
I say seed for a seed does not always become a flower. It must be planted, nurtured. It must be given all it needs to thrive upon and reach above the ground and deep beneath. It must grow towards the sun so it might spread its petals before me. And it must be perennial, with deep, undying roots.
I hope he can be my flower. I hope I'm his...
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About me
- Anzel
- If you can't handle cold truths and blunt facts, step away. I use this blog to speak my mind, and will put down every gruesome detail in order to do it. You've been warned.
About Me
- Anzel
- If you can't handle cold truths and blunt facts, step away. I use this blog to speak my mind, and will put down every gruesome detail in order to do it. You've been warned.