Quintessential dor Paradise.

So recently I went into a manic swing. Hypomanic. Whatever. Up.

Probably triggered by Chavva, my now-ex-best-friend. That is a tale for another day, I will bless you all with it, you know I keep not a thing to myself, sweet viewers.

Mania makes me write. Always has. Makes me see songs as beautiful, feel like queen of the world...

...and tolerate having my best friend call the cops on me and having the guy of my dreams decide he just wants to be friends.

In NYC right now wishing I had brought my sleep meds. And a lot of stuff I apparently left at home, cuz I had to pack hastily. I have been exhausted for 5 hours. But I cannot sleep. It's the mania...oh...wait. I get it now. I like how it takes me typing things out for me to realize the obvious relationships, such as mania and being too awake.

My eyes will vomit tomorrow, but the mania will allow me enjoy the day. I'm sorry, Aunt Lissy, I cannot force sleep. It is not under my control, it is only influenced.

Told Derek I loved him, have plans with a virgin in a few weeks, lost a best friend because she's psycho, grew attached to her child, befriended her husband who is gonna rid her from the house and invite me back (no, i am not and will NEVER be, cross my heart, interested in him), umm...

Just too much crap.

"2 AM lovesick with a walking-ammonia drum-kick..."

It's funny though how well my honesty has shown through in my life, been the point of stability. I make enemies, yes. But only because they can't be trusted and prove it by distrusting me. But I also make allies. Friends. I earn respect.

Honesty is my most prominent trait. But atm I'm exhausted and wish I could just fall asleep. My mind has that bar effect going on...well, stream, river...

Front is my control, it wants sleep, it's a person who will lay down and permit the beauteous sleep. Back of my mind is separated from it by something, and...is spazzing like a cartoon character on a sugar rush. Jumping up and down and shouting, hair a-frizz...

Try and sleep with her in the back of your mind...

God damnit...

Migraine, only take me down at 8 PM tomorrow night. Thank you.

So far Spotify is being good to me.

Oh, funny thing. So I did something that puts me to sleep twice. I would probably bet my left middle finger that I mentioned that thing once before at least. But anyhow...I checked the tissues afterwards. Reddish colored dots? ...hmm...well, nope, that hasn't started. That's confusing, what caused that...

But what was worst was...

...there was blue...

Light blue like that minty blue toothpaste, light...and...

I am so confused. WHY. IS MY BODY. PRODUCING TOOTHPASTE.

It felt like my lube though..but IT WAS BLUE.

So I am lost. And my arm is worn from tired, so I'm gonna go to sleep :)

Good night sweet world...let my mood stabilize.