Give...or take.

My friend just got Hugh Laurie's autograph while he (my friend) was at work. A.k.a. House. Yes, THE House. Doctor House.

...excuse me whilst I go forge a will and eat him with a spork so I get that piece of paper.

Can't Win.

I choose friends, grandparents gets upset...I choose work, I get stressed/grandparents get upset...I choose grandparents, work or friends get upset/then I get stressed.

Can't fucking win here.

They need to get some fucking colored vision or something, all they see is the bad in what I do. They are intolerant and it's fucking crazy.

:/ Tired...need sleep.

Also found out, my wonderful public, that I cannot even watch porn after saying 'good night' to them and going to bed with the laptop to prep myself for sleep <<; Why?

They watch the blinking lights on the router and know when I'm online.

-______-

Maybe I should DC and just play Bonetown. But alas, that game's good foreplay for my mood but...it's hard to play a game and, at the same time, rub one out; being that I'm a girl and we naturally have certain positions we have to be in in order to get off.

Again. I wish I had normal grandparents and not fucking energizer bunny republicans who praise the lord like they breathe him. They probably do. UGH.

...

Anyhow.

A girl I met on a Pokemon Spriting forum half a decade ago, at the same time I met my first boyfriend...

Whelp. She goes to my college now. Small world. People can say the internet is full of creeps, but they need to realize that most of the people they'd know would be on the internet. That'd mean the majority of them are creeps.

If not, then the internet is mostly filled with just PEOPLE. With creeps scattered around in dark corners, just like in real life, being very, very easy to stop.

((except for Dexter))

They just don't get it. Sigh. If they only knew the truth...

But they never will.

Ever.

I don't know, there are so many answers.

LOVE my luck. Started liking a guy who worked at the pizza place next to subway. I, being me, fucking chickened out :P Even got my co-worker to tell him I had something to say to him when he had a moment. I backed out. I asked him if he lived near somewhere, he said he lived at this place not that, his boss was there...oh god I turned red as fuck. I just left. I gave up. x3

...so now I find out he's gone. Probably broke curfew (parole), and the pizza place has some new, ASSHOLE owners. :/ So even though today, I remembered one of my life mottos,

"If you do it, you'll regret it. If you don't do it, you'll regret it. Either way you'll regret it; might as well just do it."

...it was too late. :/ Fuck my luck. He didn't have a cell, no one knows where he lives exactly so...:/

*sighs* So anyhow...:/

Um. Let's see. Bert n' Mysh need to come down off their clouds and remember, I dunno...maybe I'm one of the fans he had back when his videos only had 500 views? Maybe I've always been a supporter and a spreader of their videos? Nope, now I'm ignored. Rather annoyed...:/ Idk. I just...like to know I exist sometimes.

Gonna be sick to my stomach soon because, WELL...this girl has a gelatin intolerance.

=.= But I LURVE Marshmallow Circus Peanuts. But they have gelatin in them...

If you don't like/get sick from regular marshmallows, cream cheese, cool whip, gummy bears...you're probably like me. Your body doesn't produce gelatinase, or at least not enough of it. :/ It's the SPECIFIC thing that breaks down gelatin...meh...

So I'm getting more into Minecraft. I like my world.

-4407084901262200316

Alliroe is what I named my world, though tbh Alliroe is my generic name for worlds or lands I create. It was the alternate dimension/world where my hybridians (anthros) lived. Made all this stuff up when 10 or less, still remember and use it.

Anyhow, my world is boss. It has THE PERFECT place for a home. A hollowed-out area beneath a HUGE jungle tree that is separate from the rest of the jungle biome because it's on the other side of the river. So basically it sticks out like a sore thumb. And even with low render distance, I can see it from about anywhere, cuz it's in a plains area. There's a beautiful ravine near my home as well. It's just all-around quaint.

Also discovered a seemingly perfect biome...

brave

As the seed. Simple, sweet, good to start at I'd say.

I may restart on my world though...cuz I kinda...well...CREEPERS...kinda...pock-marked my landscape and I just lost like, everything. Again. :P


...dunno what Olivier thought by trying to hook me up with an ugly religious guy. Oy vey...

I met a very similar-to-me girl today. She was also an artist who failed at humans and preferred to draw nature pics. She sang (obviously, cuz we were at the college for a choir club), she ALSO was scouting out potential hot guys...which was...honestly pretty amusing to know I wasn't the only one.

Lamictal might be working, not sure. I just want college to start, I feel so...antsy. I don't have anything specific to do...

Might go on a walk in a second, the scent of storm is a blessing and her wind caresses.

I dreamt about....DEXTER SPOILER DON'T READ DON'T READ DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE MOST RECENT SEASON IN ITS ENTIRELY (which everyone should cuz dexter is the best show I have ever seen in my LIFE, every single season is AWESOME and makes you NEED the next one. NEED.)

SPOILER
SPOILER
SPOILER

Deb just...observed. Accepted. They made love, she tried to figure things out, was too attracted to him to mind. It was a weird dream. She asked questions, what happened to Doakes and such, how he did it...but mostly just...had fallen for him.

Idk. Dream. <<;






END SPOILER


Also dreamt about tornadoes, which was cool, I love those dreams.

*yawns*...I miss tv. :(

I miss a lot of things I guess. I don't miss driving around in this heat xD I need to get outside, it's getting dark. Adios.

Boring is Board.

*yawns* Forcing a post. Been in an ok mood today. Migraine though, fucked with my driving ability. Picked up some more ibuprofen and hoping that'll prevent that issue. I hate it when I get like that.

Choir tomorrow.

Novocaine.

He's planning the perfect suicide...he cut last night, when not responding to me. He's stuck on a girl who will always hurt him again and I can't change this...

WHY do I like him. It's not fucking worth it, body. I don't care if the chemistry worked. STOP.

I don't care if his scent is sweet and alluring. His eyes are deep, his touches perfectly caring. He doesn't..he...I'm falling for a zombie. He's..already chosen to be dead.

He's so beautiful and sometime soon he'll kill himself and I'll never be the same. w...why did I ever have to meet him.

I dreamt about Derek last night...he gave me another chance...

If Zach goes maybe I can tell Derek and maybe he'll come back to my life...

...bullshit, I know it's a fucking lie...

I hurt so much, make it stop...

Dear Me

Currently? Mixed. It's aggravating. Maybe I'm manic. Who the hell knows, I want to do things and can only do half. There we go.

Well, butt out.

I have been doing a lot better than now. I think it's the Wellbutrin withdrawal, since I stopped it. No more extreme angst, but when something triggers a bad mood in me I kinda go into the dark place that harbors suicidal thoughts. It really needs to back the fuck off.

Internet is being a bitch. Takes a good few minutes to realize it has access and slowly allows functions in until it works properly. Occasionally just stops for no reason.

Stressed about life, tired, want it to stop xP