Novocaine.

He's planning the perfect suicide...he cut last night, when not responding to me. He's stuck on a girl who will always hurt him again and I can't change this...

WHY do I like him. It's not fucking worth it, body. I don't care if the chemistry worked. STOP.

I don't care if his scent is sweet and alluring. His eyes are deep, his touches perfectly caring. He doesn't..he...I'm falling for a zombie. He's..already chosen to be dead.

He's so beautiful and sometime soon he'll kill himself and I'll never be the same. w...why did I ever have to meet him.

I dreamt about Derek last night...he gave me another chance...

If Zach goes maybe I can tell Derek and maybe he'll come back to my life...

...bullshit, I know it's a fucking lie...

I hurt so much, make it stop...