Suicidal Terrified.

Wellbutrin obviously doesn't do much for me now...suicidal...

No desire to wake Dean. No one I have real feelings for cares atm. So I'm stuck with a knot in my throat and nausea at my chest...

Doxylamine...300 mg might fuck with me...At this point I just don't care...I don't feel I have anything to live for anymore...all I do is disappoint people...Derek won't respond...never would...I might vomit...

Derek..could stop me...he could stop me, but he won't...my mind doesn't give a shit what other people say...I might curl up on the floor now...

I'm so alone...sometimes I wish my heart would stop beating...

I want love...

I might hurt myself. My body says it's a good idea right now...wanna slice my thigh open but the pain makes me cringe...I just want to bleed a little...

I am not sane right now but this is literally how my mind is thinking...such a dark place...empty...quiet...only has a want for self-hurt...only...